


Anticip-

by addy_is_not_a_laddy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Prequel, Remix, Sadstuck, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-05 09:45:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addy_is_not_a_laddy/pseuds/addy_is_not_a_laddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-ation is the worst part.  You can lose yourself in the struggle, but the calm before battle is the worst because the air is heavy with the soon-to-be-dead.</p><p>Each step into this place with the strange sun overhead and the air slightly-bitter on your tongue is like a tickle against your arm. You hear the silence louder, louder, louder until you finally have to-<br/>break it, make it stop because the itch in the back of your mind is still there. Still the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anticip-

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Postscript](https://archiveofourown.org/works/611256) by [sunsmasher](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsmasher/pseuds/sunsmasher). 



> I have worked long and hard on this and while it's not everything that I had hoped for, it's far more than what I expected when I started out. Thank you so much for this opportunity to write this story, because it has given me many more fantastic ideas on stuff that I should make.
> 
> I hope that you, dear reader, enjoy this. It's the longest oneshot that I've ever written and I am damn proud of it.

  Your name is Rose Lalonde and you have no idea what just happened. After three years of work and a single, chaotic day of confusion you had finally beaten the game, when suddenly you felt the ground shift and were falling over (the floor isn't what you remember it to be a moment ago). And while you are fine, minus not recognizing where you are, your troll girlfriend obviously does, a fact that could mean any number of things; none of which you like.

You look around and spot Kanaya sitting on the floor nearby, looking bemused as her eyes quickly scan the room. However her bemusement morphs quickly into incredulity at what she is seeing, and she stands up and rushes out of the room without even speaking to you. You stare after her because she seems to know exactly where you are, but you are still struggling to understand how wherever you are could be a result of winning the game, or why Kanaya recognizes it in the first place.

You have little choice but to stand up and follow her to wherever she is going. When you leave the bright and airy room that you were somehow deposited into, you find a hallway and living room just as bright. In fact, it reminds you a bit of Kanaya's room back on the meteor, from the way that it is decorated with vibrantly colored swathes of fabric hanging from nearly every available surface. The light is the next thing that strikes you as odd, once you have your wits about you enough to notice it. It is coming in thick streams through the windows, and you rush over to see what is casting the oddly hued light.

As you look through the window, you find that you stand in a tall tower, bright streamers of fabric suspended all around it. An unusually large sun shines low in the sky, its light and color different in a way that you can't really pinpoint. Hearing muffled footsteps, you look back behind you and see Kanaya approaching, a look of concern in her eyes.

“Are you okay with the sunlight? Most trolls here cannot stand it, but I am of the impression that Humans are diurnal. Is the Alternian sun too different from Earth's?”

And there is the thing that you couldn't pinpoint. You feel a sense of unease that there is something you are missing, something wrong. The air is slightly bitter almost, although you feel fine so it isn't too different from what you have been breathing on the meteor.

“Where's your computer? We need to see if anyone else has any idea what is going on.” You said with finality. You can dwell on the new surroundings later. Right now you have to get to the bottom of exactly what was going on and how you have gotten to Alternia. While you had very few expectations for this, certainly to be back on Alternia wasn't what one might consider a great reward.

twinArmageddons [TA]has opened a memo

 

twinArmageddons [TA] has joined the memo  
caligulasAquarium [CA] has joined the memo  
arsenicCatnip [AC] has joined the memo  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has joined the memo  
apocalypseArisen [AA] has joined the memo

TA: this is going t0 be a terrible mistake  
CG: WHAT  
CG: THE CROTCHBLISTERING CACTUSFUCK  
CG: IS GOING ON  
CG: IS THAT  
TA: i already regret it  
AA: I can still jump through time but the time function on trollian doesn't seem to be working  
AC: :33< this isn't a dream bubble is it?  
CG: NEPETA HOLY FUCK  
CG: OKAY WE ARE DEAD AND THIS IS HELL  
CA: wwhat is going on  
CG: JADE JUST APPEARED OUT OF MY NUTRITIONBLOCK

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] has joined the memo  
adiosToriador [AT] has joined the memo  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] has joined the memo

GC: D4V3 1S H3R3 TOO  
GC: sup this planet is cool i guess  
AT: tHE LAST THING i REMEMBER IS,, UH,,,,,,, dYING  
AT: aND THEN,,  
AT: i WAS HERE,, AND  
AT: ,,,,,,,,,,  
AT: i AM TALLER AND STUFF }:D  
GA: This Is Certainly Not What I Expected  
GA: Rose Is Here As Well

arachnidsGrip [AG] has joined the memo

AG: th8t is soooooooo b8ring are you telling me you dont remem8er our adventures as dead people????????  
AG: j8hn gets to 8e with the c88lest troll of all! ::::D

centaursTesticle [CT] has joined the memo  
terminallyCapricious [TC] has joined the memo

CG: HOLY SHIT IS EVERY ONE OF YOU BRAINDEAD BATSHIT NOOKSCRATCHERS ALIVE AGAIN  
CG: HOW CAN MY DAY GET ANY FUCKING BETTER  
CG: I THOUGHT THAT I WAS DONE WITH THIS SHIT  
CT: D--> Nepeta I still cannot apologize enough  
TC: WhOa KaRbRo GoAtDaD iS tOtAlLy HeRe

cuttlefishCuller [CC] has joined the memo  
CC: I )(AV-E SOM-E N-----EWS  
AC: :33< Equius this isn't a dream bubble and I am still not talking to you.  
CC: My lusus is still making doomsday w)(ispers  
CC: But t)(ey are different than before  
CG: JUST TO MAKE THIS CLEAR  
CG: THAT WAS NOT ACTUALLY AN INVITATION TO MAKE MY LIFE WORSE  
AG: i may h8ve dropped a doomsday device onto sp8dermom about eight minutes ago  
AG: an incr8di8ly unlucky roll of the d8ce  
GC: >:D 1M SUR3 TH4T IS TRU3  
CG: WELL THAT IS SLIGHTLY LESS BAD  
CG: BUT HAVING A HORRORTERROR FROM NOBLE CIRCLE ON ALTERNIA IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF GOOD AND CANCELS OUT ANYTHING GOOD TO HAPPEN EVER  
CG: HOW DID IT EVEN DIE LAST TIME  
CA: wwell  
CA: the speaker of the vvast glub can only die one wway  
CC: S)(e spoke the vast glub.  
CC: But I am glubbing wit)( )(er now and s)(e says that s)(e won't do it again.  
CC: Alternia was burning and s)(e s)(rimply had no C)(OIC---E  
CC: But it )(URT )(er and s)(e never wants to do that again  
CG: how intelligent are lusii anyway  
CG: the fact that she can remember dying is interesting  
CG: JADE GET OFF MY HUSKTOP  
GA: I have to wonder the same thing. Are all lusii as intelligent as Gl'bgolyb?  
GA: My Lusus Was Very Intelligent But She Was Also A Virgin Mother Grub  
GA: Would that make her a troll? Mother Grubs are important in troll reproduction right?  
CG: IF YOU TWO ARE GOING TO HAVE THIS CONVERSATION DO IT OUTSIDE OF THE MEMO  
CG: but there are other people who don't know this stuff karkat!  
CG: STOP FUCKING CROWDING ME FINE WE CAN SHARE NOW STOP IT  
GC: that doesnt mean that we all want to  
AG: actually it is probably important  
AG: even if it is probably nasty and gross alien sex whatever  
GA: How would you even know if alien sex is gross, John?  
GC: tmi dear sister  
AG: what  
CG: what?  
GA: Let Us Not Have This Conversation Right Now Please Rose  
GA: Which one, the one where you and I are dating or the one where we talk about troll reproduction?  
GA: Both  
GA: Definitely Both  
AG: 8h hush all of y8u  
AG: we have this 8eautiful opportunity right n8w and you all are 8eing gru8s and fighting!!!!!!!!  
AG: so wait where did everyone appear?  
TA: i think that everyone is at their hives for n0w  
CT: D--> Nepeta please  
AC: XOO< you know what fine if you want to do this on a public memo now that we are alive again here it is  
AC: :33 we are done.  
AC: :33 I am not even going to type my half of the diamond any more  
AC: :33 you know what I don't even fucking blame Gamzee  
CT: D--> Language, Nepeta  
AT: }:o  
AC: XOO NO YOU LISTEN HERE  
AC: XOO YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS AS MY FUCKING MOIRAIL SO LEAVE ME ALONE YOU LET HIM KILL YOU AND YOU SMILED  
AC: YOU FUCKING SMILED AND KNELT  
CA: wwhoah really  
CA: eq you havve issues  
CG: EVERYTHING ABOUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO EVERYONE IS FUCKED UP YOU UNATTRACTIVE WHIMSICAL FUCKDROPPING BUT WE NEED TO REGROUP

  
CG: BEFORE THIS MEMO GETS ANY MORE OFF-TRACK WE NEED TO DECIDE A MEETING PLACE  
GC: 3V3RYON3 C4N COM3 TO MY H1VE  
GC: 1TS 1N TH3 MOST C3NTR4L LOC4T1ON  
CT: D--> but Nepeta  
CG: OKAY YOU MORONIC INSANE SHITTING FUCK ON A MOUNTAIN OF INCREDIBLE STUPIDITY LISTEN UP IF YOU WANT TO DEAL WITH THIS DO IT IN PERSON OR IN YOUR OWN CHAT NOT IN A PUBLIC MEMO

CG banned AC from responding to memo  
CG banned CT from responding to memo

gallowsCalibrator [GC] sent file H3R3 1S MY H1VE.jpg  
GA: This Is Quite Far From My Hive And Will Take A Few Perigrees To Traverse  
GA: But I Think That Everyone Is About This Far From Me  
CC: I shoald be abubble to get there in a perigree

 

“Kanaya,”

“Yes, Rose?” she says with a faint smile as she leads you around her hive to pack. She has been gliding from item to item with familiarity and ease, and also noticably not looking you in the eye.

“What's wrong?”

She finally turns to look at you and there is a spark of fear in her eyes. Of what, you can't be sure until she tells you. “We have to travel across a very large distance, and we will have to at several points be around other trolls. I am not sure if you are aware of this, but your human English is not what trolls on Alternia speak. It is something that the game programmed into us the moment we started it, but we use it because it is honestly simpler than Alternian especially when discussing anything to do with the game or with you and the other humans.”

You give a long slow blink, because even after all this time you had simply assumed that English had come from the Trolls. “Oh.”

You sit down and try to think over how much this changes, and not for the last time you wonder what all of you could have done that your reward for finally beating that hellish game was a worse, somehow deadlier hell. You realize it was stupid to make any assumptions about the reward or about the language that the trolls used but the trolls had never really said anything about another language. In fact, they didn't even seem to have an accent which you suppose is the reason that you didn't realize it in the first place.

While you are contemplating your oversight and your miscalculation Kanaya has gotten a few different books out, and has an Alternian alphabet for you to memorize. You take them silently and she gets to work on her sewing machine and with some clay.

By the end of the day she has two long cloaks made out of a thick material, and a pair of painted horns. They are long and flawlessly detailed, tall and pronged in odd places. Kanaya snatches you headband off your head and attaches them without a word, before bringing out a tub of makeup and sitting you down.

“We can hide your hands and arms with sleeves and gloves easily enough. However, your face needs some special attention and it needs to be something that doesn't seem out of place. Your eyes are strange but with your white hair we could explain it as a part of your mutation since you are proportioned and built almost identically to any troll.” She begins to paint grey and white onto your face with quick strokes and you are curious what exactly she is doing when suddenly she is done. A mirror is placed in front of your face and you see-

Well it's still you, somewhat, but you look much more like a troll than you had ever thought you could. You have a grisly approximation of a skull painted on your face in a way that seems almost primitive, and Kanaya is looking at you with satisfaction.

“The Subjugglators are a small group composed of highbloods, from blue to indigo and the colors between. Your eyes are a perfect color to hide you in their ranks, and the horns don't seem out of place when you have the hood on. Of course it would be obvious that you aren't one because the fleet hasn't come yet but the religion is the thing that's important.”

“This, do you think I will be able to pass very well? I heard that Trolls of a blood color like mine tend to be wild and very strong.” You don't think you could rend somebody limb from limb with your bare hands like you were told that Equius or Gamzee could.

“Not all trolls are freakishly strong. And you can claim precognition as a useful part of your mutation if anyone questions you, I think. You still have your Seer powers, right? It's all part of the mutation.”

You nod, noting that the horns wobble slightly when you do so. You almost think to the feeling of not-right that is still there like an itch, but Kanaya notices your horns wobble and steals them again to make the headband more steady and your focus is broken. Or maybe you just want to think of something else.

 

After a few more hours of preparation you both are sure that there isn't anything else that you can pack that might be even remotely useful, so Kanaya says goodbye to her lusus and you both don heavy cloaks made from fabric that feels expensive. Your horns poke through the hood and point into the sky with defiance against the alien sun and against the heat that starts to slowly permeate your being.

Each step into this place with the strange sun overhead and the air slightly-bitter on your tongue is like a tickle against your arm. You hear the silence louder, louder, louder until you finally have to-

break it, make it stop because the itch in the back of your mind is still there. Still the same.

“You said that Alternian is different from English. Tell me how.”

And what proceeds is a couple hours of you realizing that some syllables are nearly impossible to make. It doesn't matter though, as the time progresses, because you don't need to be able to understand everything. You don't even need to be able to understand a lot of what's going on to get by here. What you need is the ability to speak a few sentences in flawless Alternian so that you can get out of a pinch if someone talks to you. And if worst comes to worst then you can pretend that you are taking a vow of silence to show your dedication to the troll religion that you are supposedly a follower of.

 

The distance is oppressive. The first troll city that you come across takes nearly three days to reach, and when you get there you are so nervous that you can feel your heart hammering and sweat beginning to bead on the back of your neck. Kanaya has insisted that you come into the city near midnight because you don't want to advertise the fact that you have been traveling during the day.  It's dangerous and rare for any but the most desperate or prepared of trolls to do it, she says. You both would have avoided the city altogether but you need to stock up on the paint to keep you hidden, and prepared foods so that you won't have to go searching and slow down you trips.  And maybe it's just a little bit so that you can see other trolls and get used to them before you are in a dangerous situation.

Kanaya has taken every ceagar to her name and a few that she says might have once belonged to a troll nearby that was culled at some point. You thought that perhaps that wouldn't be too much since she said that lowerbloods tended to have less money and smaller hives, but you quickly realized that her status as a Jadeblood is something you had not appreciated before. While your sign on your chest in lavender is enough to keep a lot of trolls out of the way, the sign on her's gets her constant respect and awe.

There are so many of them around, with so many insane and seemingly impossible configurations of sign and horn and color, they surge around you.  The mass of trolls presses on its business heedless of your discomfort, though there is a small bubble around the two of you due to your default and combined status.  Seeing trolls like this reminds you of when your mother brought you to New York when you were young, and you have to simply stop thinking and let Kanaya lead you before your train of thought becomes more depressing.

When you get to the general store that sells the items you needed, you are worried that you are going to have to use some of your Alternian already, to perhaps talk to the store owner, but the store is run by a drone, and the prices are set an the net and projected to the whole planet so all you have to do is select the items from a screen and they shoot out of a dispenser after you have paid.

Kanaya tells you that this is how all troll stores work, though before the adults left Alternia it was a bit different, at least from what she read in ancient books she found by dint of being a jade-blood.

It's surprisingly simple to get what you need and leave the city, especially when nobody seems to want to really talk to anyone else.

-

Each step closer and you are starting to feel the damp in the air, and there are signs of the desert ending. Each step means you can almost taste something more alive in the air and you know that both of you are getting closer to something besides godforsaken sand. When the sand gives way to meadows and then trees you want to kiss them because you are so sick of sand and heat and the temperature drops degree by degree the closer you get to the coast.

When you point that out to Kanaya she smiles but tells you that there is still a long way to go before you reach the ocean because she made the trip twice when she was younger and she remembers it well. You marvel at how little it feels like you know about your girlfriend, even after spending three years with her on an asteroid.

 

It takes a couple of days of plodding through a young forest before you begin to hear the sounds of the ocean and a bit longer to be able to see the sand, but when the ocean opens up in front of you you don't have enough of the right words to describe it. The ocean is lavender close to the coast before fading into a brown that you can't help but feel isn't a result of pollution.

“Kanaya, are all oceans on Alternia this color?” you ask, because you can't help yourself. She has been so understanding despite having to answer so many of your questions about this place.

“As far as I know. Are they different on Earth?” she says with curiosity in her eyes as you step closer to the lapping waves.

“They are blue, or blue-green on earth. The color difference probably has to do with the atmosphere, I guess.” You shrug it off as just another one of those things.

You travel up the coast, just outside of the reach of the sand and tides to reach a small city where Kanaya insists you keep in the shadows while she arranges transport. There are a few curious faces peering at your paint, but you leer at them and the scamper away when they note the color of your symbol. The trip has already increased your muscle mass, and your diet has been incredibly high in protein and other things that you think have been giving you energy, but you can't be sure. There is really no way to know for sure anything about Alternia when you still don't even know why you are here.

You are about sick of scaring off lowerbloods when suddenly an indigoblood appears, interested in you. She is tall, taller than Kanaya, and she looks strong. Her teeth are sharp when she grins at you and she asks you what you think is a question. You understand something along the lines of the fact that she is hitting on you, and you shoot her a look of dislike, responding in flawless Alternian that you are waiting for your matesprit so kindly fuck off, but she only grins wider and says something else. It sounds like a taunt, and you realize she might be blackflirting with you. Before you can say anything else -not that you had much you could say- Kanaya has you by the hand and she is dragging you off, through a few alleys and a couple hives.

“What were you thinking?” she hisses through clenched teeth, before faltering. You give her a pointed look and shake your head.

“You know as well as I do that I had no idea she was blackflirting with me until it was too late.”

She sweeps you into a hug and you hug her back before kissing her soundly. “So what did you find out?” you ask after you finish. You can't concentrate on every little mistake you make or you will never make it to your destination.

She hesitates slightly before answering. “There is an authorized seagoing transport vessel that is leaving in a couple nights, and we have to stay in a temporary hivestem until then. You take a deep breath and nod, letting you take her to yet another motel in the area. It's been a parade of unfamiliar place after unfamiliar place and despite yourself you can't seem to get used to it. She sleeps in the slime while you sleep on a pile of blankets from your sylladex. You tried sleeping in the slime once out of curiosity, but you nearly drowned because you haven't mastered the art of sleeping on your feet.

The night to leave comes at the same dull pace as all the nights before it, and it finds you staring bored at the thing that will be taking you across the ocean.

The ship is wide, and made with economy in mind. It's not comfortable looking, and you predict that you will not look out of place if you sleep on a pile with Kanaya. You both have agreed that acting as moirails would be easier in a situation like this, because that gives her authority in troll culture to talk for you, especially since she is the “lowblood” in the equation and thus expected to be doing the majority of the pacifying in the relationship.

The trolls around you bear signs almost all the colors of the rainbow, although you are one of the higher bloods near this boarding ramp. Most of the trolls entering here are in are below Kanaya on the hemospectrum, since she is as low as you can get and still be a lowblood, according to what Kanaya whispers in your ear.

You notice with discomfort that you are getting taller by the day. You aren't sure if it's something in the air or if you have just finally hit your growth spurt, but you are almost as tall as Kanaya though you have only been Alternia for three weeks as far as you can tell. The days feel really long though, so maybe the total time is even closer to a month that you initially thought.

This means that by the time you leave on the ship you are becoming tall enough that your highblood mask is becoming more and more believable, although you have been awkward trying to adjust to the quick growth and aches have randomly plagued you.

When you are on the ship, you are on the more lowblood deck but you don't mind. However, apparently it really sticks out when someone of your blood color deigns to slum with lower blood-castes, and word of it somehow sneaks back to the highblood areas and the indigoblood that had been giving you trouble shows up out of nowhere with a leer on her voice and a pair of scissors in her hands.

Kanaya talks the situation down somewhat and gets you three to a more secluded area while talking to the imposing woman. While she is trying to at least somewhat auspisticise the indigo takes a swing at you and you get a cut on your face. The instant you start bleeding, Kanaya culls the highblood with her chainsaw before you even realize that your cover has been blown.

The blood splashes out in a fountain against the wall and all over Kanaya's cloak. It also gets on the hem of your own cloak, and Kanaya has you take out your strife specibus and stab the dead troll for good measure. You feel a scream building in your throat but you clamp down on it ruthlessly and tell yourself that the purple is the wrong color for blood and try to ignore the smell that is edging towards your nose as you take out your needles and stab the headless corpse a few times in the chest. Kanaya tells you that she needs a defense if someone higher up gets annoyed at her culling a higherblood, so you are her defense. Obviously it's a poor defense, but it's all that you two have.

You both beat a hasty retreat once she has stopped your bleeding and covered it up with a thick bandage that won't show the color bleeding through and despite knowing the differences between troll and human culture, you are still surprised by the fact that no-one came running when they heard the dying screech of the highblood.

You are stricken by how different it was than anything you faced in the game. The game constructs died cleanly leaving only grist in their wake, and the few dead Daves you saw you could ignore because Dave was obviously vital and alive in front of you. The pool of blood seems to be all you can see when you close your eyes, and the smell of that blood follows you because the both of you were splattered with it.

You try not to think about it, and banish to the back of your mind along with the not-right itch. Both of you manage to survive the week-long trip across the ocean and disembark with as much grace as you can muster while trying to get as far from the ship as possible, but you swear to never set foot on a ship again. It was too confined, especially after The Incident. You nearly trip over your own feet because your ridiculous rate of growth still hasn't abated, and you are distracted by your thoughts.

The forest quickly appears, and after nearly a month since you started off you start to notice plush toys hanging from trees. You recognize them as the scalemates that Terezi loved so much, and you get a spring in your step that causes you to trip a couple of times on the uneven terrain. Kanaya is in high spirits as well, and wears a grin that exposes her fangs and makes your heart skip a beat even after seeing them in action a few times here on Alternia. Both of you are in sight of the hive when a troll drops out of the trees and makes a swing at you and you have your needles out and blocking faster than you thought possible. It's a good thing because you recognize that sign and that weapon.

“Karkat! Stop it's me, Rose!” you say in plain English. He pulls back in surprise with an angry look on his face. You can see him puffing up and getting ready to yell at you and you don't even bother to stop him. Experience has told you that it's better to let him blow off the steam or it will only be worse later.

“Your dunderfuckery nearly got you killed, how in almighty shameglobe-vomiting human-hell did you get this tall in a couple perigrees?” You grin and he flinches. “And why are you wearing idiotic clown paint? It almost makes up for your blunt-stupid human teeth.”

Kanaya steps in and starts to lead you to the treehouse. A grumbling Karkat trails along behind you and there is a platform waiting once you get close enough to the treehouse for Karkat to give the all-clear.

You don't bother trying to take off your hood or paint. There will be time enough for that after you see your friends again. And you can think of a couple that you haven't seen for three years, or even properly at all, that you missed quite dearly.

The looks of distrust and surprise when you enter the hive are wiped away when you lower your hood to reveal your white hair, and throw off your sweater, gloves, and bloodstained cloak to reveal your perfectly human arms and hands. Lastly, you take off the horns and open your arms for an enthusiastic Jade that is running at break-neck speed. You think she must have been on the other side of the hive or something because her face is red and she is breathing hard when she barrels into you, but then she starts sobbing and you start crying too, and your chest burns and oh god you hadn't realized how much you missed her until here she was. You both sink to the ground crying, and she is kissing your face and grey paint is being smeared everywhere and you are just so happy you can't even speak.

When the both of you have calmed down you notice that the trolls seemed to have removed themselves from the premises but John and Dave are standing in a corner waiting for their opportunity to greet you. You wipe your face as best you can on the cloak you had discarded on the floor, before standing and opening your arms. John runs into them and gives you a big hug before you walk over to Dave and raise your fist for a bump. When he reaches up to give it to you you wrap your arms around him and let him pretend he isn't hugging back.

After your hug is done Dave gives you a grin. “So when are you going to take off that travesty of clown paint? You are reminding me of Gamzee and that guy creeps me out.”

You touch your cheek, remembering the makeup that you have been wearing the past month so that you could get all the way to Terezi's hive without dying, and you nearly start crying again but instead you shoot Dave a look and a smirk.

“Well heaven forbid I ever do something that makes you uncomfortable, Dave.” You gesture to Jade and she takes you to a bathroom so you can take a shower and get your face washed, and because she has her face smeared with the stuff from kissing you. Once you are clean you notice that your clothes are a bit short for you, so you ask Jade to take you to Kanaya because too-short clothes wasn't something you could fix when you were on the road and now there is time.  Fun time is over and it's back to business.

As Jade leads you you notice how tall she has gotten too. She is a full head shorter than you, but she has, crudely put, come into her womanhood. You suppose that you have changed in a lot of the same ways, but it is still weird for you to realize that you both have grown up. You may not be adults yet, but you are certainly on your way.

There is a bittersweet taste in the realization, but it is only over the next few weeks of fights and confrontations that you really get a scope and feel for how the four humans have changed in the past few years, although the trolls that died seem to have been stagnant in their development while they were dead, and then suddenly they are on the fast-track of doing the adjusting to their more mature selves that their compatriots already had an opportunity to do on the meteor.  Apparently it has led to more than a few conflicts before you even arrived, and one of them ended with badly injured trolls that Feferi had to figure out how to heal.

You are standing in the kitchen and smiling while eating something that you can't identify that always reminds you of hot dogs or vienna sausages. You have made a point never to ask what it is, and you have just had a fantastic night with Kanaya so you have no reason not to smile.  Out of the corner of your eye you spot Terezi, who is standing in the doorway. She raises her eyebrow at you and walks out leaving you to trail behind her. There is no-one in the kitchen with you so you wonder why she didn't just say something, but she obviously wants to talk to you.

She leads you around her hive for about ten minutes, and you have no idea where you are when she finally stops and turns to face you.

There is a grim look on her face. “Do you feel it? It's been getting stronger since we arrived.”

You give her a confused look. “Feel what? I am afraid you aren't making any sense.” But only a moment later you feel the itch redouble, and your stomach drops. It could be anything though, it doesn't mean-

“The doom. There will be no hope, at this journey's end.” she says with resignation. Ice begins to build in your chest.

You shake your head trying to disagree, but the words come out anyway, too desperate and too high. “No, that's just something in the air. That feeling is just.. it's because Alternia is different from Earth and I-” but your excuse sounds weak even to your own ears, especially when the only other seer from the game is standing in front of you and giving name to the feeling you have been trying so hard not to even think about. You stop yourself from completing the sentence and try to take a deep breath but it comes in gasps.

Terezi watches you as you begin to crumple. You won't let yourself die, but this is as bad as dying. Your breaths come too fast and soon you can feel shooting pains in your chest. Your terror mounts when you feel a bag shoved over your head and you are terrified she is trying to kill you.

Then you hear words, calm and collected that tell you to take deep breaths slowly. At first you fight it, but since she has you at her mercy so you try to comply as best as you can.

Eventually your breathing is slowed to normal and your heart doesn't feel like it's trying to beat its way out of your chest, and the bag has been removed though you don't remember when. You sit on the ground with the blind troll and she shakes her head.

“I'm not going to talk to anyone but you about this. Sollux can't hear the voices of the impending dead so he doesn't know, and I'm not going to be the one to take away the only bit of hope we have had in three years.” and she walks out. You scramble to follow her because you know that you couldn't get out of there without her guidance.

The crisscrossing of the wood and rope bridges above and below you suddenly seems so much more dangerous than they were only minutes before. There is no hope in this place, no hope for whatever is coming, and you wouldn't wish the knowledge of it on anyone.

That day you sleep away from everyone, only yourself in a pile of blankets you decaptchalogue before crawling in to and passing out. From that conversation on, the feeling of not-right only gets worse, and when you are sketching out plans and Karkat and Equius are out scouting you are hit with a wave twice as strong as before. The feeling before was far-off, and only a little bit certain compared to what you are feeling now. Now it's strong and hits you like a punch to the gut. Only years of practice in hiding the pain you felt on a monthly basis stops you from doubling over right then and there, though you tense up noticeably because you weren't expecting it.

Quietly you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom where you hold your head and wish fervently for something alcoholic to dull your senses and make everything less painful. It hurts. Not even in just a physical way; that is something that you could easily deal with. No, this is much worse.

And yet again you shove it roughly away behind your mental wall. Another problem for another day.

You can't show the strain, not even when Aradia brings home a couple people that say they represent the cults of the Signless, the Sufferer, and that Karkat is their leader and was born to be their leader.

The one that is from the cult of the signless is a calm troll, an adult troll at least middle-aged for her blood color. She is short and her horns are chipped in a few places, and there are signs that she might have had them carved once long ago. Her hair is long and worn in a braid that nearly reaches the ground, and she wears a disarming smile. She is something like a teal-blood, her eyes already completely filled in with color.

The troll from the cult of the Sufferer has a wary look in her spotted-with-color eyes that tell you she is a young olive-blood. She is tall, nearly as tall as you, with tattoos on her arms and legs. Her hair is shorn and her horns have something barbed wrapped around them. You assume so that they can't be used against her in a fight. She is muscular and moves like she is very familiar with hand-to-hand combat, lending an even more dangerous hue to her every move.

The two of them greet the trolls with wariness, always looking at Karkat as if to remind themselves why they are there. When Feferi appears they have to visibly restrain themselves from attacking her because she looks so much like the empress, but the fact that they do restrain themselves is probably a few points to them. Her horns are shorter and her hair only goes to the middle of her back, but she is nearly as tall as the apparition that leads Alternia. You have seen pictures and short videos of her that remind you that Feferi really does look similar to that woman. The biggest difference though is the compassion in her eyes and the smile on her lips, and when all the trolls are introduced you stride over to the group and wrap your hand in Kanaya's. Dave strides over to Terezi nonchalantly and lays a kiss on her cheek while John and Jade just walk in together and stand next to Karkat.

If the two trolls had been surprised by Feferi, they are dumbfounded by you four. Karkat only laughs at the looks on their faces before they get to work talking about the cults and exactly what that means for a revolution.

They never ask how four aliens got on to Alternia, and when you meet other trolls they are perpetually as dumbfounded by you and your friends as the first two were. It seems that no one ever warns anyone else, and you don't find out for a while that it's because they would never be believed them if they had. Not once since Alternia developed space travel did they have an alien on their planet. And now, with all of space around Alternia for light-years dominated and the automated defense systems around the planet, anyone who does get close is invariably destroyed very quickly.

You slowly started talking to Feferi about different things, making friends with her because she was always so happy and hopeful. You feel like hell. She makes you feel better whenever she speaks to you, and the conversations are always easy and fun, especially with her bubbly personality.

It's from Terezi that you get the idea to ask Feferi about her life powers, which you heard she used to heal some of the trolls after a rough conflict before you had arrived. You know that life powers are supposed to be formidable, but you have no idea what they would entail, beyond the fact that space and time powers seem pretty straightforward. You know that your power over light is more symbolic, but then... seers aren't known for being very active in changing things. They tend more to just do with knowledge, so maybe it could be literal for someone else.

You ask Vriska if she can literally control lights and her response surprises you.

“Well duh, Rose. I mean what kind of Thief of Light would I be if I couldn't steal light? I steal luck and other things too, but light is the easiest thing. It just never makes that much sense to use. And with a smirk the light in the room you are in evaporates and you are standing in the darkest room of your life. Then the lights turn back on with the flip on a switch. “The only thing is I haven't figured out how to give it back, so I have to kind of... let my grip on the light go, and then turning it back on will work. Bluh. It's a useless power, and not neeeeeeeearly as interesting as stealing luck!” she says and finishes with a grin.

So you approach Feferi with an idea. Well, it's more of a question and a proposition, since you don't want to come off too strong and you are still making friends with her, especially when Kanaya tells you about troll reproduction properly and also the social stigmas surrounding it. You knew parts of it from experience, but right now you know more about it than you realize that you may have wanted to know because Kanaya was being trained to work in the caverns with grubs and the mother grub herself, and had a bit of up-close-and-personal schoolfeeding on the subject.

Feferi is confused but tells you about her limited experiences with her life powers and how they mostly involved procuring more cuttlefish because she had some dominion over things with life, as well as the creation of life and the healing of life. She wasn't very strong in any of those things though, and this is the time that you discover that you can still develop the powers you got in the game despite being outside of the game. At least, as far as you know.

You work directly with her and the other trolls in plans for when the ships come and conscription begins, and you especially have a hand in contingency plans in case things go wrong. You play the devil's advocate, always pointing out things that should have a plan b or even c, and that's how you manage to establish a persona perfect for talking to Feferi about the real plan all along.

You need her to synthesize genetic material that can be put into stasis and possibly added to the slurry in case of failure, because you don't want the revolution to end here and if the generation before this one was a failure and this one is too, then maybe the next one will have more luck.

She is surprised and embarrassed by your request at first, and tells you that she isn't sure that it's something in her powers to do, but the next day greets you with a red-faced but smiling Feferi and the affirmation that this is something she can do relatively easily. At this point you tell Kanaya about the contingency plan and ask for her to decide how /virile/ the material Feferi manages to synthesize is. She says that it looks about as well-mixed as any can be and that it looks like it would produce a strong troll if added to the slurry, like a doctor giving the results of an exam. She understands you wanting to have extra plans just in case, and while this one was a worst-case scenario she doesn't have any better ideas to replace it, not if something manages to go this catastrophically wrong.

For a couple weeks you and Feferi work closely to make sure that the material is perfect and then that it is put into stasis and well-hidden. Certain Signlessists that are not participating in any of the battles are given the task of taking and adding the pails to the slurry in case the revolution fails, but are sworn to the utmost secrecy. It wouldn't look good on anyone that you are prepared for failure, even with the odds at least somewhat against you.

There is about a month of just everyone training, preparing, and spreading word of the upcoming rebellion. Encouragement is for everyone to participate in whatever ways they can, and it's almost peaceful. Your groups spread their word, and make their bases in empty warehouses across the planet as the word spreads farther that this just might work.

During the month, you continue to talk to Feferi despite having completed your plan with her.  You feel drawn to her and her energy, her optimism.  She tells you about her life before sburb, about her lusus, about knowing that the world was going to end from as soon as she was old enough to talk.  You tell her about you intelligent scientist mother and her achievements, and how the both of you would play mind games with each other.  Slowly and almost without warning you become... friends, despite your best efforts.  Knowing what you know, you tried not to get close to anyone else, but this was just another one of those inevitabilities.  If you ignore the pain in your heart and the feeling in your gut then you can almost pretend that you are at peace.

That peace is shattered spactacularly. Eridan, Gamzee, and Feferi all get messages in their husktops that the fleet is two days out and to prepare for conscription, and that the Empress herself will be coming to meet an promising-sounding heir. No one else is given any notice if they are below an indigo on the spectrum, but there are a handful of people in the revolution that are that high on the hemospectrum and the news spreads quickly. Karkat takes control with ill grace and issues orders to be in position as soon as possible, and you finally decide to talk to Kanaya properly about what is about to happen. You can't do this without saying goodbye, and Terezi stopped talking to you about anything to do with your seer powers after you and Feferi had the backup plan in place. She seems very set on being happy the last bit of time she has and you decide not to begrudge her that.

You ask Kanaya to meet you in the room that the two of you share, and she agrees. After a small amount of reminiscing you finally come clean about what you know, and Kanaya simply holds you while you cry. She even cries with you, green staining your clothes, and admits she suspected something like what you told her, because she could tell that you weren't happy like you pretended to be.  That day you make love like it's your last, and when you wake that evening with a heavy heart you taste love on your tongue.

The two of you wear the clothes that you were wearing when you met on the meteor to the battle, with a kind of symbolism in the idea. You will end this how you started it, no matter how much else has changed. Feferi is working with Sollux to get onto the Condesce's ship and invoke the Rite of Succession that is programmed into every part of the empire's code. Once she has invoked it no one can interfere and she will be able to take on the empress directly.  Kanaya promises that she will stay away from you, and you agree with a kind of madness. You are sure that if you saw her die you would let yourself follow.  You are beyond caring if your relationship is healthy or not, it's better than having to think about how hard it is to breath with all this death heavy in the air like the atmosphere before rain.

Before Feferi leaves to get onto the ship you stop her, and despite yourself you swear a promise to her that she echoes with resignation. You know she can see your secret in your eyes, and your apology, and without another word she turns around and stands on the hotwired transportalizer.

The group had planned on a sort of battlefield, or at least a place that was less confine. Instead you are ambushed in the main warehouse that you used as a base, a full two hours before you expected an attack. They seem hardly slowed by the young undertrained trolls that are attempting to block their way, and you feel a sob building in the back of your throat that you quash ruthlessly. You need to save your tears. There isn't time to mourn them yet. But seeing a certain oliveblood leader rent limb from limb distracts you just long enough that an Imperial issue 2x3dent stabs you through the shoulder, pinning you to the wall.  

**Author's Note:**

> Please read Postscript if you want the full story. It is truly a fantastic work and I feel honored to be able to make any sort of derivative work for it.


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